8 things you need to know about the Absorber Chamois

Everybody knows that the Absorber rules the roost on a Superyacht. The stews steal them away into the interior when the mate isn’t looking. The captain has one in his shower. Of course, the deckies swear by it- savouring the feel of its soft-rubber body on their hardened hands; and in the loneliness of a midnight-washdown, it tends to become something of a friend, a muse and a confidante under the harsh lights of bridge-deck aft…

Recently we stumbled across a company called MJ Marine Solutions here in the UK, who sold themselves as the European distributor of everybody’s favourite deck product. We had to find out more.

After a few failed calls and email requests eventually we received a call from a gentleman named Martin Santo, and it seemed his passion for the famed-Absorber ran even deeper than ours.

Following on from that conversation (which was anything but dry) here are 8 crucial things you need to know about your trusty chamois:

1. THE ABSORBER COMES FROM JAPAN

Image credit: the-absorber.co.uk

That’s right, its the creators of Sushi and Nintendo Wii we have to thank for engineering the product which is essentially kryptonite for semi-invisible watermarks. The Absorber starts life in Japan, before travelling across the ocean to the United States where its sold on to distributors by a company in Illinois called CleanTools. The chamois then travels to Europe via MJ Marine- who in turn sell it on to chandlers and other yachting companies who supply the boats.

2. YES, IT IS GOOD AT DRYING DOGS

Image credit: the-absorber.co.uk

So good in fact that it is a best-selling product in the dog-grooming industry and can be seen at major shows including the legendary Crufts. Groomers love the absorber because stray hairs don’t stick to it, and they are machine washable (although we all know that this ruins them over time).

3. YOU’RE NOT ALONE IN THINKING THEY SMELL GREAT WHEN NEW

Image credit: the-absorber.co.uk

It’s a cherished day. You were out on the rail applying vinegar to the owner’s windows when your trusted-chamois gave up on life and hurled itself into the piss, along with your hopes of having a tea break with the rest of your crew as you shimmy back onboard to begin again.

But behold! A new chamois awaits you at the cleaning locker. Whether you admit it or not, everybody gets a little excited when they unwrap a new chamois. They’re soft, and delicate- and smell kind of a bit like dough. Mmmmmm…

4. THE BLUE ONE IS (UN)OFFICIALLY ACCEPTED AS THE BEST

Image credit: the-absorber.co.uk

According to the manufacturer CleanTools, all of the colours are made the same and there is no superior model. However, both Martin and Gym Marine were in agreement that there is something about the blue-one which seems to make it more absorbent than the others. If the European Distributor says so, then it must be true…

5. THEY WERE BIG NEWS AT THE RIO OLYMPICS

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According to Martin Santo at the Rio Olympics this year the Absorber chamois played a huge part in the success of the USA diving team- who use them to dry-off quickly between dives. Clever.

Not only did these athletes choose wisely, but they also went one step further by custom colouring their Absorbers using Tie-dye- something you could have a go at whilst bored on weekend-watch…

6. YOU REALLY SHOULD STOP DROPPING THEM IN THE SEA

Image credit: visitrockypoint.com

You can probably work out for yourself that the absorber isn’t biodegradable. Aside from polluting the ocean, if you send it down into the drink when you’re drying a rail you run the very real risk of it getting sucked up by your yacht’s water intake, causing a pretty fatal blockage and a (more) grumpy engineer.

We asked Martin Santo if there was a solution to the Absorber enjoying a return to the deep. ”Yeah, they sink pretty quickly don’t they,” he smiles, ”it helps with sales, but it’s pretty bad for the ocean. We encourage users to hold on to them!”

7. THEY’RE THE BACKBONE OF THE US FIRE SERVICE

Image credit: emergencyrigs.net

The Americans are very proud of their firefighters, and they should be- firemen and women are heroes in their own right! The Absorber has its own role in saving lives stateside and is used by the fire service to keep their firetrucks looking shiny- rebranded for this important job as ‘Fireman’s Friends’…

8. THERE ARE MORE VERSIONS OF THE ABSORBER YOU DIDN’T EVEN KNOW ABOUT

Image credit: the-absorber.co.uk

Such as the Absorber XL, The Mini Absorber, The Glosser and the Dash Gear MicroFiber.

Pure. Cleaning. Heaven